Apr. 24th, 2005

grifstar: (blood)
Lately I been somewhat things of plans to... well.. make my life better.

Issue Number One: The con that I wish to attend.. It's probably one of the biggest 'risks' I ever tried to pull off. But I dead serious about it. I had just a few ideas of how to convince people to let me go, and I gonna try whatever it takes even if it kills myself.

Issue Number Two: Money. Currently I don't 'really' have any money coming in... save for... erm.. leftover lunch money (hey, I don't eat much ^^;). Which isn't gonna pull me throughout all my life. I been hoping to get a job, actually for the last few months actually. And it's always because of 'little' things: No car/way of transferring, too young, not enough "people" skills, school gets in the way, not hiring, etc.

Actually recently I was told that I should work at this fabric store that sits only a few blocks from us, about 15-30min walk from where I live. I actually really like this idea.. Better than working at some drug store or an awful fast food place. So I'm gonna look more into that.

Issue Number Three: Driving. Currently I still have my driving phobia(though I must admit it's getting better now). Which many seem to fail at comprehending what that means.. it doesn't mean I HATE driving, or choosing NOT TO drive for that I'm possibly LAZY or SPOILED as which, many seem to think.. and call me... It's because I'm AFRAID to. There? Happy now? Does that make EVERYONE feel better?

Dammit, why does everyone keep thinking it's my fault and that I just simply hate it out of laziness? Do people that fear heights simply choose to do so? Do....


.....

..

dammit.. I'm just going to start crying so I'm just going to shut up for now.. >< ...

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