*Le sigh*

[grifstar]

It's happening again~~~~ D:



I've just been so.... out of it today. Was feeling the same thing last night too(hell I even went to bed way sooner than what I normally do and laid there until 1 today x_x). Not really sure why, other than I think I'm getting into one of my depression moods and I don't feel like doing anything -.-;


I swear though, why is it EVERY time I start something, doesn't matter what the thing is, I get a few good complments and cheers here and there and then poof, it all goes away. I can't get anybody to talk to me, I can't get anyone back on track. It suddenly becomes yesterday's news and no one gives a shit about it anymore..... and then I wonder why the hell I even bothered wasting my breath about it in the first place -.-;;


I mean... the hell? Is everything I do just THAT horrible that everyone has to basically be an ass about it and not tell me up front it's a bad idea? That suddenly I got to talk to brick walls everyday because not a single soul has anything important to say back?


*sulks back into the unmotivated corner* >.>;;

Comments

[wiccanlilly.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I still love you :)

[grifstar.livejournal.com]

*huggles back* D:...


... I'm still waiting for a good time to say that I'm through with RKA too. Right now I'm just flat out ignoring them all.. >.>

[wiccanlilly.livejournal.com]

I'm really thinking that I might leave, too. I mean, I know I wasn't as badly burned as you were, and I really think you should pull out as soon as you're comfortable. But still...it's not active really anymore, and unless you're part of a certain...clique, almost, your characters get ignored anyway. *sighs* Ichi will always love his Al, though :)

[grifstar.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there really was a clique in that, even when I first joined I kind of noticed that.. But I also figured it might've been just because I was new at the time and eventually that would go away..... but nope, it was still there, though a few opened up >.>;

*sighes* It's stuff like that the mods should've been working on.... oh wait I forgot, they are just as badly corrupted as the snobby members ~.~;;


But yeah, Ichi can visit Al anytime he wants =P

[hagane-no.livejournal.com]

Any specific instances you're thinking about?

[grifstar.livejournal.com]

... not particularly. Other than it's mostly the guild I started on Gaia that finally made me snap the most. Of course, people on Gaia are more freakin lazy and careless than most normal people, as I noticed even before I decided to take full charge on something there -.-; (though even in the cases where I was just "helping out" I might've as well been in charge >.>; )

But now I'm just spazzing over the fact that I got this other project (http://www.greatestjournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=spectral_rp) that I'm still working out and think it's just going to bomb like everything else... yet I also got a lot of people interested so far (more than LotC in fact O_o; )


The main excuse always seem to be "Too busy", or already over head with RPs(.. like to know where everybody finds them though @_@). But fuck, I'm just as busy too, between work and school, and I'm still going at them >.>;

Though it's not just roleplays I had horrible times just to get it off the ground, there's been times where I was pretty much giving away free GOLD on Gaia and not a single person replied ~_~;

[hagane-no.livejournal.com]

I would play in your RP, but it's not because I am too busy that I can't... it's because I know myself too well. If I have something fun that I can fart around on, I KNOW I won't study at all. I have to keep myself away from that distraction. :(

I'm sorry that you're feeling overlooked. *huggles* I hope things get better for you.

[grifstar.livejournal.com]

well okay, THAT part I can understand. I sort of have that problem too x_x. (but I'm on break right now, so I don't have to worry)


Still, most people don't even bother giving a straight answer. All I ever get back is just pure silence most of the time, to almost always. I would be more happier if somebody told me that they hated my guts and wanted to murder me in my sleep than absolutely nothing. Which is what I'm getting basically. -.-;

[hagane-no.livejournal.com]

I admit that there have been a couple times that I felt annoyed at you for various things... I think the one time that comes to mind most is when we were all playing on Euph RO and you wanted me and Ari to not play on Ed and Hei, since you wanted to wait for Shindou to catch up and didn't want us to leave you behind. But that's no where near wanting to murder you in your sleep or hating your guts.

I'm on break right now, too... but I know the RP would go on longer than the break would last, so it's better not to start than to have to quit later on. It's like smoking (only less painful).

[grifstar.livejournal.com]

heh... sowies about that ^^;;;;;. Course it didn't help either that at the time I had no idea what was up with her, and basically was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Since I wanted to spend time with her, AND I wanted to be with all of you D:

And of course it wasn't long after that I stopped seeing Shindou all together... Freakin' bastard. Really depressed she had to pull that on me, at the same time pissed because we were friends for a pretty long time and was the ONLY actual friend I had last year >__>


But true that.. though knowing my luck, probably won't be very active anyway in general. Even at the beginning x_x